I've been messed with, let down, being hurt, frustrated and played too many times. I wonder what people think of me too much or I'm way too judgmental. My heart is big, but I have my selfish moment. Being let down too many time, don't you think I deserved to be selfish sometimes? I don't want to be a stone cold selfish girl, but people keep hurting me. My heart being hurt too much until I can't handle it.
Yes I love to be in a big group, but I also love to be alone. Every my favorite songs has a special memory or a regret behind it. Actually I don't like going through old picture because I miss what things used to be. There are so many people come and go in my life. I've lost many friends that I love. I also lost someone that I love the most. We've become strangers. And all this shit hurts me a lot.
I tend to overthink things and trust way too many people even they don't deserve my trust. I wish they would just disappear, I wish my the hurt that they gave me would disappear just like them. I've learned not to cry very, but when I do, I can't even stop. The truth is I hate the word goodbye and I wish it didn't exist. I hate liars, but sometimes I lie to myself. I hate broken promises, because it broke my heart too.
I have many hidden secrets that I can't tell anyone even my own sister. Sometimes I wish that secret didn't exist. I've lack of self confidence, I'm too clumsy and I don't even trust myself either. I'm still finding things out about myself. I faced so many things since I was a kid, so please don't be quick to judge. Please, get to know me first before you want to judge. Because until today, there's no one really really know me inside and outside.
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